8:50 p.m. - 2003-09-19
old man take a look at my life
its only a couple hours a day
a couple days a week
for the past couple of years
that ive been
suicidal
but i guess anything could look like a noose
if you stare at it long enough
so how much do you not eat
i love it
pain
oh its so slow
the death is like honey
stretching thin over a life
sliding through the ether of time
replace starvation
for an antonym
my life sounds different but looks the same
starving for you
i call you up like thirsty lips to a cup
i waited for 3 hours for you to pick up
and when you got there i couldnt wait anymore
so i left
so its friday night, the worst night of all
the house is so silent and your heart is full of some noxious gas
so you cut through the darkness
to find the noise
you can hear yourself screaming
no matter how far you reach inside
you just cant find where its coming from
you end up at the end of the week
listening to yourself harmonize your outer cries
with your inner screams
and the sound is so unbearable
that you just remember its only been a few years
or has it already been five, or is it six?
my first and last look at how the time goes to the past so fast
but im all alone at last
its only a day
out of a year
just the past couple of years...
