9:06 p.m. - 2006-11-24
nightmare
23-11-07
It started out in my old room in my house on forest oaks (the only house I ever dream about, I haven't been there in 5 years). I was talking to my sister Megan, who resembled a graduate student named Rayette that I don't really know. I don't like either of them in my dream due to Megan/Rayette's success despite her lack of ability, it is her confidence that enables her to succeed. I am talking to Megan/Rayette about graduate school, unsure of what we were saying, I know it made me feel anxious and disappointed, scared that I wasn't good enough. I also knew that I there was a conspiracy being waged against me from remnants of the nightmare that woke me up earlier in the night, in which people were pointing their fingers at me, giving me dirty and intimidating looks, and attempting to break into the car I was in or chase me. Fallon and Megan both decided to leave me alone in the house, even though I asked them to stay because I knew I wasn't safe alone in the house. The house itself intimidated me, I didn't trust it. I had a perfectly detailed, accurate memory of the layout and nuances of the house, including doors that didn't shut all the way/locks that didn't work/window views, etc. Both of my sisters left despite my efforts to keep them with me, and when I went to lock the door behind them two men shoved it open and began pulling me inside, as I fought with them to escape. I screamed, kicked, yelled, cried, went into hysterics trying to escape the men but the street was vacant, no one was in miles to hear me or help me, and while the men laughed they said, "don't you feel helpless (hopeless?) now?" They allowed me to run away from them into the house, both of them aware of how futile it was to hide in the house from them. I ran up the stairs and into my parents bedroom, a place that was always a refuge to me as a teenager when I would have panic attacks. I locked myself in their 3 ft. by 3 ft. toilet area, the door's lock didn't work and I knew I was doomed. I found a telephone in my hand and attempted to call 911, but when I dialed the number an automated voice responded by saying, "I'm sorry, there are no local movie listings for 9-1-1 in your area, please try again," and over and over. I had never experienced such a tangible feeling of terror and hopelessness in a dream before. The two men started to call on the line, the caller ID identifying them as "Dark," I kept hanging up on them, knowing they were approaching the bathroom and that they would open the door at any moment. I felt totally hopeless and terrified.
